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Push Pause

In order to make more effective choices, we need to "push our personal pause buttons", and examine and then edit the assumptions upon which our choices our based. It is helpful if we evaluate the assumptions for errors in logic, attempting to take our black and white thinking to reflect more reasonable shades of gray.

These errors in logic often fall in some general categories. One such category, is when we "awfulize", exaggerating how terrible something is. For example, we can look at the assumption previously described. As we berate ourselves for making a mistake at work we can ask ourselves, "How awful is it, really, to make a mistake?. Is it possible that I might have come to a wrong conclusion as a youngster? I might not have preferred to make that mistake, but is it possible that mistakes might be an acceptable way to learn and grow?"

Another category of logical errors is when we "crystal-ball", assuming that we can accurately predict the future. As we avoid trying something new, "certain" that we will fail miserably, we can ask ourselves, "Does anyone really have a working crystal ball? Is it possible, that I might actually do all right, or even quite well"

A third category of errors in logic is when we generalize, stretching the truth. An example of this would be the assumption that we must always say yes to others or we are not a good person.We can ask ourselves, " Is it possible that this is an exaggeration and that I can say no in certain circumstances and still have many examples of how I know that I am a good person?

In order to provide a small window into how to edit some of the assumptions that may influence our choices and limit our desired outcomes, come back and look for 3 short worksheets in the areas of feelings, self-confidence and relationships. These will begin with a questionnaire to help you briefly examine some of your choices in these areas. They will be followed by a monologue, highlighting an assumption in each area, This will be followed by an opportunity to write a monologue that would more clearly reflect your personal assumptions and situations, some questions to help examine the logic with regards to the provided and your assumption, and an opportunity to rewrite that monologue, reflecting a new belief. ~ Adina Bloom Lewkowicz, LISW

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